The Refocusing Method: a framework for embodying what you know
The Refocusing Method is a six-step framework designed to help you close the gap between understanding how change works and actually living that change day-to-day.
It combines emotional alignment, nervous system awareness, and practical action to help you embody what you already know.
From understanding to embodiment
I believe we create our own reality. We do this through our thoughts, feelings and beliefs – through vibration and frequency.
You can read more about how I came to this understanding on my About page.
I trained as a transformational life coach, and I noticed something in my clients that I also saw in myself and friends and family.
“Knowing how to create change didn’t mean we actually applied it. ”
There was a gap between understanding and embodying that understanding in everyday life.
The Refocusing Method is a six-step framework designed to help close that gap between knowing and living change.
The story behind The Refocusing Method
Some years ago I found myself in a job with a boss who made life miserable. It felt awful. But it also turned out to be a great gift – it galvanised me into applying everything I knew about creating my reality, and the outcome was even better than I could have imagined.
I started out anxious and miserable, but I meditated and worked through different processes. And instead of trying to hide from my fears and doubts, I looked at them head on.
Three months later, I was far more calm and confident at work.
Another three months later, my boss left the company – but more importantly, I was a different person to who I’d been six months earlier.
How The Refocusing Method developed
“The steps took me from fear and disconnection, to feeling calm, empowered, and able to embody the person I wanted to be.”
Through that experience I came to understand much more deeply how powerful we are to create the life we want when we embody what we know.
When I looked back on everything I did to feel different, a series of steps emerged.
Over time those steps became the embodiment practice framework I call the Refocusing Method.
How The Refocusing method works
The Refocusing Method helps stabilise us emotionally, asks us what we want, and helps us get into alignment with it.
Through repetition and practice we embody what we know and live it day-to-day.
The six steps of The Refocusing Method
Here are the six steps:
Make peace with where you are
Don’t make where you are bad or wrong. Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel without analysing it.Decide what you’d prefer
When you know what you don’t want, you often become clearer about what you do want – put your focus on what you do want.Align with what you want
Whether that’s a thing, a situation or a way of being – imagine already having or being it and let yourself feel that feeling within you.Deal with your doubts and fears
The ‘bigger’ the thing you want, the more doubts and fears can get triggered when we align with it. This is where the real work of embodiment happens: building a daily practice to transform beliefs and calm your nervous system.Take action
Take action that feels good and is in alignment with what you want.Follow your joy
Trust that what you want is unfolding. In the meantime, do the things that feel good and be open to what the universe brings you.
In simple terms, the Refocusing Method helps you:
Accept where you are
Get clear on what you want
Align emotionally
Work through resistance
Take aligned action
Stay connected to joy
Who the Refocusing Method is for
This is for people who understand they create their own reality, but find themselves only applying what they know when life reaches a crisis point.
It’s for people who’ve read all the books and watched the videos, who know the theory, but still find themselves reacting instead of responding.
I’ve spoken to people who feel embarrassed, and sometimes ashamed, that they have this understanding but aren’t living it day-to-day. The Refocusing Method is about understanding why the gap exists, and having the practical tools to close it.
Benefits of the Refocusing Method
When we follow the Refocusing Method, and believe we can have the life we want, we:
respond to situations instead of reacting in a knee-jerk way
do not panic when we feel anxious because we have tools to ground and recenter
know what steps to take each day to get into alignment with what we want
feel empowered knowing we’re in the driving seat of our lives
feel comfortable entertaining dreams that once felt too big
do not settle for less because we think we cannot create better
feel comfortable in the space between knowing what we want and having it
How I’m developing the Refocusing Method
I'm continuing to develop and refine the Refocusing Method. In time it will form the basis of future 1-1 coaching and small group programmes focused on helping people close the gap between knowing they create their lives, and living that understanding consistently.
Right now I’m particularly interested in the part our autonomic nervous system plays in becoming the person we want to be.
Our nervous system constantly scans our environment for threats. When we want something we don’t yet have, the nervous system can register this as unsafe expansion.
Through a process of self-enquiry we can identify what our nervous system finds threatening, and build practices to calm and reassure it.
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If you'd like to follow along as this work develops, I share ideas and insights in my Reflections on Clarity newsletter.